21st February 2017

As I'm in a location where lots of films don't make it onto big screens, let's talk about the ones that the odds are in favour of. What I really mean are the ones with the most money behind them.

March

1st Logan

Wolverine goes solo for what seems like the last time and we may finally get a standalone outing of his that's good and with an R-rating thrown in. Roped in for the ride are a really old Professor X and a little female mini-Logan as they recreate The Last of Us and my god, the word is good and I can't wait.

Why Will It Be On A Screen Near Me? Cause X-Men and Hugh Jackman's Wolverine.

10th Kong: Skull Island

Set in the same world as the 2014 Godzilla movie, we've now got Apocalypse Now visuals clashing with a giant ape. If his destiny is to eventually fight Gojira, I assume this monkey must be a lot bigger than previous incarnations? Anyway, they've been making beautiful posters, have a top notch cast and big beasties so I am so down for this. Please be good.

Why Will It Be On A Screen Near Me? Cause King Kong.

17th Beauty and the Beast

What better way to spend Paddy's Day than with a classic story set in France with British accents. The latest in Disney's live-actionification of animated classics, we get a starry cast re-enacting their cartoon counterparts. I'm hoping for more Cinderella or The Jungle Book than Alice in Wonderland or Maleficent. May depend on your tolerance of Emma Watson's acting or the weird faces forced onto usually inanimate objects.

Why Will It Be On A Screen Near Me? Cause Disney's tale as old as time..

24th Power Rangers

Go go darker reboots! Looks like a genuine attempt to make the series into a mini-blockbuster with its budget and weird camera angles. I may or may not have some misplaced nostalgia for the show as I remember it being corny fun. This edition has been throwing out madly mixed signals. Costumes and the extended cast emanate the cheese but the tone seems to take itself way too seriously so we'll just have to wait and see.

Why Will It Be On A Screen Near Me? Cause 90's merchandise nostalgia.

April

14th Fast and Furious 8

Vin Diesel turns on his family! Madness. The Rock mourns the loss of his bald ally by replacing him with another bald man, The Stath. Charlize Theron glowers as the baddie. The gang go to the North Pole to notch off another extreme. Is space next?

Less frantically, this follows on from the barnstorming 7th film which was one of the world's biggest films probably because it was a lot of fun with great action, a diverse cast and maybe one or two tears. That money talks so expect this to be on every big screen imaginable in your vicinity.

Why Will It Be On A Screen Near Me? Cause family.

28th Guardians of the Galaxy vol. 2

Our new favourite sound-tracked alien super-team are back. Led by Chris Pratt's Star-Lord, events are likely to involve his father coming into the fray and maybe lead us into the gigantic team up of all the Marvel lads which will be Avengers: Infinity War. That aside though, James Gunn has probably crafted another huge chunk of fun with this lovable bunch of characters with some sweet retro tunes.

Why Will It Be On A Screen Near Me? Cause Marvel are groovy.

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That's 6 films which are almost guaranteed to be hogging your local multiplexes this March and April 2017 although my snark was only semi-powered since I'm genuinely excited for a couple of them.

Two films that just missed out on inclusion were The Lost City of Z (March 24th) and Ghost in the Shell (March 31st) which both could be great. I'm hoping my local still manages to squeeze in Free Fire (March 31st), Life (March 24th), Get Out (March 17th) and The Belko Experiment (April 21st) amongst those other massive juggernauts. Films smaller than these usually have no chance.

Fancy giving this a share?

Ethan M Barr
Embarr Himself